you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So vagazzling was a success
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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