i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
