the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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