its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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