so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
