Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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