the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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