We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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