If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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