The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
either way he was missing a nipple.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
