It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
