I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
