So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
