this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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