Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
