The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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