What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
