When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize