brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
