I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
