we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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