got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
