I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
