I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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