Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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