He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
