"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
