She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How external is "for external use only"?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
