shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize