Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
