So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was born a porn star she said
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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