I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
