he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
soo... how was my night?
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