got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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