so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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