we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
