The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
