dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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