Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
