People with herpes should wear stickers.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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