It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
