so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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