i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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