Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
