apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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