I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
