he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
