You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I will be naked everywhere
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
