whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize