I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize