Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
