talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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