He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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