she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
