This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
