In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
