i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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