He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
