I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
