HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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