East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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